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I love this women! She has shown some terrific skills with the cello and I hope there is more to come. These are for the more classical music interested though, the second more so then the first.


I do love winter most when it comes to four seasons. How she looks so intense...


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These guys have such dynamic going. Always get's me of the chair. :-)
This one especially:



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First, before I post a whole Song from them, a solo from the drumnmer Tomas Haake (the greatest imho) and the bassist Dick Lovgren. This shows what's so great about this band. Haake is the machine that keeps them going, don't care if it's syncopated, polyrhythmic or polymetric (I can't tell most of time ;-))


Now, one has to go beyond the superficial here, otherwise one cannot catch some of the greatness here :-) or will be beaten over the head






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It did take me some time to come back to write something and as my mood is these days, I'm not into writing right away. For long I felt pathetic enough being who I am and knowing it pretty well, no need to go around writing and talking about it. But, I don't see it all that gloomy right now and sharing can be kinda cool. :-)

What touches me mostly these days is music in it's many facetts. This is what I want to share with you now.

The more pensive approach. Satie's music has this subtle grip on it, uneasy sometimes and then also very soothing and then again very thought provoking.


Current Mood:
calm calm
Current Music:
Eric Satie - Gnossienne nº 3
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If there is one person or more on your friends list who makes your world a better place just because they exist and who you would not have met (in real life or not) without the internet, then post this same sentence in your journal.
* * *
Well, after some pretty cheerful exp. yesterday and me breaking down a bit healthwise, I'm back on earth again. I can't be in a negative mood for too long, since I'm so into the habit of being somebody, now as workers counsil member or/and as co-worker, who pushes morale and good mood. As soon es I get cranky, people are like "what's gotten into you?", since, as it goes with the games of adults, they miss their "hug" every day, be it a smile, a how are you doing or something for that matter. This dynamic is, as we know about brain functions these days, is pretty important for your own handling of your own. Even more so, when it comes to the working of mirror neurons, at a sub-conscious level. We are a part of our surrounding and most of all a part of the collective. On a pretty superficial level, I just realized it these days, more then I did in the past at least. I got a little bit of feaver and soe disturbing pain in the chest, which seem to stem from the lungs. So, I got what I asked for and now I'm curious where this is going. I still do my things the way I see them fit for me, this is something only a breakdown can prevent from happen. On a deep level of my motivation, this is something of a fight against stagnation and against comfort. A way to sink your teeth into something, and rip on it, till you got your chunk out of it. Something I never really did for long and almost never with a real enthusiasm. I'll see....
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So, I'm back from NY for a couple of days now, got back into work and a pretty exhausting week.
Well, exept from the money I spent, which was a lot, even if not seen in the context of an already existing money problem, it was a very nice experience. I wouldn't want to miss it. Even for a short stay (a net of 5 days to roam the city), when compared to the time and energy invested for the flights, it was still great and I would do it again without hesitating.

My impression now, after being back here for a couple of days, is still that of a city, where I felt kind of at home first thing, after walking through the neighbourhood. I was still running around some of spanish harlem's street on that point, without seeing any of the rest. This Barrio, even though not intentionally sought after from my part (thought I'd be living in the Upper East Side), was really growing to me with every day. The people ranged from ok somehow to really friendly and funny. If I ever go back there, I'll learn some spanish before that, which I would have done, if I would have known. So, every day was like this: getting up and going shopping in the morning, then I moved from there, 105th str. to Downtown and/or Midtown. It was kinda funny, having such a fast passing from one area to the other in such short time and distance. When I went back in the evening, I was kinda happy, since these parts of the city aren't so crowded and are a lot more mixed up in color, which made it more interesting for me. The only problem for me, I got into the people and into socializing far to late, or better on the last day or so. Started meeting people then and talking to people openly and without hesitating. Something I'd pick up faster and seeing that it was so easy (almost all around town), do it far more open.

On the last day I went to Little Italy at Mulberry Str. which was again a hassle, because I just started walking from to much a distance with not enough orientation points in mind again (same as in the bronx but less stressy and not with the feeling of impending doom ahead :-)). So, till I got there, it took me a lot of streets to walk and first I came through Chinatown, which was kinda cool, seing such a big chinese part mostly for themselves (there where streets with only chinese people around, exept for the occasional taxi driver, mostly from around the same corner of the world anyways). LI then was ok, very crowded, I guess kinda normal for a saturday afternoon. But I can exactly understand people not seeing anymore, some ethnic feeling coming out of there. I'm glad I got to visit Little Italy in the Bronx, cause when you compare it to Mulberry Str., it really is a great italian experience. Just don't start walking there from the south of the Bronx and it should be ok. There where people who made homemade mozzarella there, and you could by taralli, which is something like a italian brezel and really unusual to find. Still Mulberry Str. was a cool touristic exp. and I got to walk through the Village a bit.

In the end, what where the things that I can say where really positive exp.? (mind though, that I'm a pretty strange introverted(extroverted) person, whit a strange way to perceive the positives and negatives of things in life)
1. For being really crowded and traffic ridden, Manhattan is a paradise for a fast-paced walker as I am. It is fast and intuitive sometimes, I had to become a little more conscious at some point, or I would have walked straight to ground zero on the first day. 2. I must say that, mostly, I met a lot of friendly people, more then you would guess, not only because NYC has a bad rep sometimes. I'm an engaging person, who looks, smiles and somehow interacts with persons and I got it back more often then I've experienced it till now. Women where pretty easy on that too, which again was very unknown to me to that extent. 3. In Spanish Harlem you can find a lot of funny people, who sing around and have a funny mood. Since I'm starting to become such a loon, singing around in different places, this, although being a pretty small not so interesting exp., was really great for me. As I said, it's pretty personal and therefor not universally applicable. 4. Central Park really keeps up with the image you get from pics, documentarys and/or movies. It is a peaceful place with a lot of beatyful little domains. What makes it special though, is the placement in Manhattan. Otherwise it would be a really nice park, but the location makes it special. You forget all the traffic and the not so fine air, and sit down with something to read and a nice drink, forgeting it all and feeling like a part of this little community of relaxers. The saxophone music and nice tricks on the roller skates just add to this image. 5. The subway is a really great ride and just adds to the pedestrian mentality, you can keep up in NYC. Cheap when done correctly and very thorough in the way of making everything accessible in short time with not too much hassle. 6. Well, this one, sadly, isn't so common, so I barely got a taste of it. I like the NYer slang, the one NYers are usually known for. Most people in NY seemed to speak in a finely tuned kinda way (which is cool too, since I like american english very much) or in a not so fine tuned kinda way, like foreigners talk. Since I like language in all it's different ways, I liked anyways. Other then in Bronx, I didn't got a good taste of the slang, but this too, is a minor, very personal thing. 7. Sadly I didn't come to do it myself, which I hope will happen some other time, but the way you can ride the bike in NYC really amazed me. I was like a little child standing before some rollercoaster or something, imagening how cool it must be, to do it yourself. All the things I like to do, but are really frowned upon by most people over here (uptight is what I call that), you can mostly do there, without seeing everybody being upset and yelling at you (which I'm still, even though becoming more more peaceful, very allergic too). So ,yeah, it's the heaven for the slightly suicidal albeit over-conscious bike rider. :-)

Next time, I really have to visit Jackson Heights (I think its called taht way), which seems to have a great Little India there. Also, what makes NY so interestng for someone like me, I'd like to visit the Catskills and other natural environments there, which seem to be very nice too and a little more nature then the park gives away (since here in south germany, you are used to having a lot of woods to go too). Also, the Cloisters in Washington Heights, being rebuild with original material bought from europe, which must be a really funny place so far uptown in Manhattan. With a ticket to the MET (20 $) you can visit these Cloisters at the same day.

Well, that was it so far. A lot more little things that happened and lot of impressions in my mind that aren't ready for access, but I think that sums it up quite ok.

Current Mood:
busy busy
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Puh, Bronx was kinda stressy. First, I got out pretty fast at 161th at the Yankee Stadium, so I'd have the chance to walk around a bit and see some of the Bronx first hand. Without a card and some bad memories I somehow walked a little clueless here and there and finally ended up in a corner where no other white people where around. It was tense sometimes, not like it is in other parts of the Bronx or in East Harlem. Once I came to Arthur Ave I was so relieved and after that ride those Little Italy signs made me feel like home afterall :-) It was ok there, nothing special in the end, since it's pretty mixed up with mexican stores and some of the italian stores are prettz sub standart. Found some goodies afterall and ate at Giantina's, which was quite good pasta (papardelle). After a little chaotic walking around, I finally found train 4 and made my way back to Lexington, where I am now, writing here. I was fun in the end, although I don't wanna go back tomorrow. :-) this kind of racism was pretty alien to me, all I know is being joked about as an italian, but never have I experienced it that way, which was something in the end.

I'm prettz beat now, I'm all about relaxing, since I have hurt mz knee from mz two day walking the city. That's what happens, when zou try to be the fasteston 5th Ave :-D

Now I'll go lay down in the park.

Current Mood:
thirsty thirsty
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So, finally, after arriving here, i got hold of a internet store, which doesn't seem to be that common, now that everyone has his laptop and uses w-lan hotspots.

Well, first impression is: great! I live in east harlem or also spanish harlem, somthing i learned after arriving. I thought this was still upper east side and i was a little cautious about harlem. but, it is really funny here. yes, i am one of a view whitebread people around, but it seems to work out good. got a cool apartment here and i'm feeling pretty local already. i actually see 2nd ave as my home turf ;-D not so many tourists and whiteys and the stores are better. yesterday i walked around high speed for around 7 hours. i've seen a lot of central park, upper west, upper east and midtown in one day, but, mz feet are prettz hurt now and joggin was no option today. tomorrow i'll take the subway to arthur ave in the bronx, which should be funny.

we'll see what comes next

Current Mood:
tired tired
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Got my passport yesterday, which means that my flight to NYC is happening monday morning. Puh, but also the stress to come is keeping me a little iffy. First to Amsterdam and then a stay of arpund 6 hours there before flying to New Amsterdam. Well, not as bad as on the flight back, which will be NYC-Springfield after 2 hours to Amsterdam and then after 11 hours to Nuernberg. Looking at that, my flight on monday will be pretty smooth. Gotta be at the airpost at around 4 in the morning, which makes me think of not sleeping at all from sunday to monday. I'll see.

As it looks, weather will be quite nice, getting colder now but then again I passed on some pretty rainy days. Now I'll start getting my stuff together.

Current Mood:
hopeful hopeful
Current Music:
Listening to 300 playing in the living room
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My trip to NYC is now ready and steady in the pipeline. After problems with my passport and afterwards, as I had to push things around for that, with finding a decent place to stay, I almost got the impression, that this trip is not supposed to be. But somehow I did find a affordable flight and at least to days in a hotel. After things with NYhabitat didn't work out that good, I was lucky with craigslist (cool site, even if a bit chaotic, the fast direct contact made it easier then going through an agent) and found a place between Harlem and the Upper East Side. Will have my own apartment with a catch though, have to take care of the owners cats, which is not only fine by me, I'm somehow looking forward to it. Worked out somehow. Maybe my cousin and his gf will come a couple of days after my arrival and if I'm really lucky, I can meet up with "the" women from work, since she's working in NJ this month.

Anyhow, after reading that Little Italy is almost dead or just a tourist attraction these days, I was very happy to hear, that there is a last remnant of italo-amarican culture left. It's in the Bronx around Arthur Av. and 187th street near the Bronx Zoo. I'll be going there, that's for sure. Btw. this site www.virtualtourist.com was really helpful in some ways (even if there is a bit to much information and not all is really needed).

So, let's hope that I'll get my passport at the 26th, or I'll be fu.... for good.

We'll see

Current Mood:
hopeful hopeful
Current Music:
The Grudge - Tool
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I'm just one motion away from going to NYC for a week this month. I've never been to the states and somehow NYC is a place I always wanted to visit (in the U.S. there would maybe be San Fransisco too, that'd be the WC equivalent). In fact it is NYC and something like Borneo to make a rain forest trip (those are the two jungles I want to se somehow). Now my passport isn't machine readable and I might need a visa, which needs me to go to munich for it. I hope I can get some form of update on the passport to circumvent this. I need to book asap, since flights are getting only more expensive and rooms aren't becoming more with every passing day (don't know if the one room in a B&B will be available till I'm ready). Puh, I'm pretty psyched about it. Let's see....
Current Mood:
tired tired
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I freaking love this song. Glad I caught it at least 15 years after it came out. :-) Better then never.

Thanks to JCMCA for this sendspace thing.

http://www.sendspace.com/file/yc82zi

Current Location:
Nürnberg
Current Mood:
sick sick
Current Music:
Cypher 7 - Album: Decoder
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Those are a great way to eat healthy and have a lot of fun with people. Not only a good source of all essential amino acids, also a great source of polyunsaturated fatty acids. Since people at work are at first sceptical, seing that, as a drug at least, hemp is a little taboo over here in Germany and in Bavaria in special, it's always fun to see them try with these sceptical looks on their faces, just to be somewhat bewondered about how good they taste and that no effect of dizzyness seems to evolve. :-D Now there are actually people asking me, to buy them packs from the little store I use to buy them (little organic food store).
On a train ride from Rome to my home town, they almost threw the little package after me, when I accidentaly left it there, out of fear it could have brought them some trouble with the police. lol

I have regular hemp seeds, which I'm going to roast myself and give them my own set of spice. :-)

On a side note: hemp oil is also one hell of a nutrient oil. Not the best of tastes (considering a very good olive oil source, I'll rather stick to that for cooking), so it needs to be worked around with a bit.

Current Location:
Nürnberg
Current Mood:
energetic energetic
Current Music:
Down in a hole - Alice In Chains
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So, i had a very serene mood today. I exused myself to those I attacked yesterday and at least with one of them things are right again. The overall mood was pretty good and we had a pretty serene day as a collective. Things gonna get dirty starting tomorrow, since we have some uneasy business with company as workers consel, but that calls for a cool head to make the best possible decision.
Current Location:
Nürnberg
Current Mood:
peaceful peaceful
Current Music:
Turn the page - Metallica
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When seen in the context of self-exploration it is.

Today at work, I picked up a fight twice, at least in a verbal sense. I don't know, but it has past some time since this happened last time (it was kinda of a constant in the past, since I'm a temperamental italian, at least it was so they used to call it). These days this is pretty unusual, since the notion never comes up when confronted with uneasy situations like those today. Emotions arise but shortly after that, the feelings never come to frution. Usually I'm more of the always smiling (lunatic) kinda guy, one day without it and people start asking what's going on. That's why it is such a big deal for me and maybe those I fought (usualy one would say that it's a pretty common thing at work). Clearly this meditation yesterday had a strange effect on my mood. :-D Have to excuse myself tomorrow.

Well then coming home, after reading some from JCMJA, which is always nice and refreshing, and from nationelectric about reincarnation, which was, interesting (and I got some cool info on the heathen outlook in this (from greyorm and owl_clan) which makes it even better), I had a dentist appointment, which lastet 2 hours. Two hours of heavy mouth penetration, mixed with my hurting knee and back, made it really some experience I tell you.

After all, an interesting day with some things to learn from (well as always, some of the things where just special though). Since I gotta get up around 5 in the morning and I'm pretty wiped, it won't last that long anymore. So let's see for the next one.

Current Location:
Nürnberg
Current Mood:
sore sore
Current Music:
Rooster - Alice in Chains
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I just started jogging, exactly said, I jogged last sunday for my first time (usually I'm more of a bike riding dude). Overburdened my legs on this day, by walking like 50 minutes and to much sidewalk without proper shoes. Got back somehow but either at work or at a short sprint to test my new shoes, I hurt my knee or something in that zone. Now, having problems walking properly, I still managed to bike home from work, which is a nice way through a lot of wood (around 15 km), although my leg was hurting. But if that wouldn't be enough, since I made my head up about doing that route by foot jogging in 1-1,5 hours, I walked home today from there- first trying to jog, which was impossible with that pain, later becoming slower and slower- and somehow made it home after 3 hours. Not that I feel that much pain right now, which I'm pretty used to, but the possible impact on the knee could be concerning. These days, I manage to do somethings right at work and articulate somehow in these journals. The rest of the day, I'm swimming in a rapid river of feelings, never sure why and for what (although I can pierce some reasons here and there) it is. Every ones in a while, scratching on the edge of death or at least some sort of suffering. Some patterns seem always the same, even after more then 10 years, when I was dancing drunk on a 20 meter high wall or having the arms full with occult scarifications (although, they where self made and not that dramatic as one would think, but then again, it's plain crazy for some, no matter how deep, I see it somehow different :-D). Funny to see these patterns evolve and at the same time having this feeling of stagnation, cause the underlying current is always the same. Well, what I wann say with this long whip of words, is that self-respect and even self-love, are essential forces in the live of every being. Through the lack of it and a glimpse of understanding about the roots of this problem, one can see the need of this in his own live and the live of the ones surrounding us. Since I'm plugging into a lot of books about essential brain function in conjuction with our social self and health right now, my vision deepens for these things, moreso, if seen hand in hand with buddhism and/or taoism. there are some intersting insights, when applyed rightly (which I might seem to not do that good right now :-D) in everyday live.
Current Location:
Nürnberg
Current Mood:
Haha Haha
Current Music:
strangely none at the moment
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Since I listen to alot of music and it happend to me, for the last 9-10 month, that every once in a while, I listen to music that I stumbled upon and hear some things in the lyrics, that are somehow exactly related to the way I feel and think at the moment, I can express somehow through lyrics, what is going on.

Well, first off, related to this women I fell madly in love with, but cannot express it, and since I'm neither poetic nor something else in that matter, this text from the Last Unicorn soundtrack say a bit about:

I've had time to write a book
About the way you act and look
But I haven't got a paragraph
Words are always getting in my way
Anyway, I love you
That's all I have to tell you
That's all I've got to say

And now, I'd like to make a speech
About the love that touches each (here, not a speech exactly, I talked to her, but since it wasn't a mutual feeling, it kinda fell flat and since then it became strange)
But stumbling, I would make you laugh
I feel as though my tongue were made of clay
Anyway, I love you
That's all I have to tell you

Well so far this struck me, since it was something on my breast these days. Still struggling with that anyways :-)

This next one is my favorite these days around (slightly more then romantic ones), since it gives some good sense of some of the feelings and situations I'm in. Gotta say, that I jsut stumbled upon Alice In Chains a couple of month ago, since I had no interest in them till now, even though a friend of mine was totally into them, I was too much into Thrash and Death Metal. Now, I mostly listen to them, since it's pretty nice music afterall. Same goes with Tool, another great band I didn't recognize for a long time
This one is from Dirt:

I Have Never Felt Such Frustration
Or Lack Of Self Control
I Want You To Kill Me
And Dig Me Under, I Wanna Live No More

One Who Doesnt Care Is One Who Shouldnt Be
Ive Tried To Hide Myself From What Is
Wrong For Me, For Me

I Want To Taste Dirty, A Stinging Pistol
In My Mouth, On My Tongue
I Want You To Scrape Me From The Walls
And Go Crazy Like Youve Made Me

Mind though, that it's not just the lyrics, but the whole set up and the feeling that comes with it. It's pretty intense music and I love to have it now (I can send some by mail if interest is there).

Well, that sums it up pretty much right now.
Roberto

Current Mood:
crazy crazy
* * *
Well, now that I have been around for a couple of days, I must say, that I like this LJ-concept. Don't know whats gonna happen, but I'm pretty interested at the moment.
Current Location:
At home
Current Mood:
excited excited
* * *
So, I'm new to this journal kinda thing and, as far as I can see, at the moment it seems to be a one person conversation. :-) Ok, let's see what happens here in the future.
Current Mood:
curious curious
Current Music:
Alice in Chains - Dirt
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